we're just like pieces of puzzle that would never fit together.
what can we do about the love that's gone? it always occurs to me that you will be the one. from day one till now, i have never really stopped believing that one day, you will love me as much as i love you that is why i stick through with you till now.
now i'm thinking was i selfish to keep you by my side? maybe we should have left each other earlier on so that so much unhappiness would be spared.
it's not like i'm comparing with my friends. but the more i see and learnt about their relationships with their bf, the more it makes me feel inferior. somehow, it doesn't feel like i have a boyfriend at all? have you ever ask me what i've always wanted out of a relationship?
we don't even talk to each other much on the phone at all. sometimes there's not even a single sms as well.
worse still, i know i will suffer when you go to NS because i wouldnt be hearing from you at all for dont know how long because you would just leave me behind from your life again just like what you;re doing to me now.
i didnt trust you, but what have you done to reassure me that i should trust you? because for all i feel, you turn on and off your feeling as and when you feel like it. you don't share with me about your life. half the time i dont even know what you're doing, who you're hanging out with. but i don't even dare to sms you to ask you where are you and who you're with all the time. okay, so there you go you will be thinking im such a troublesome gf because you're someone who loves freedom more than anything else. but its not about "reporting" to me you know? its not like im unhappy when you go out with your friends. but then again, what about me? sometimes even a simple sms from you just cheer me up. @ least i know im not forgotten you know?
i've shared with you about how i wanted you to come earlier for lessons in school, but you never really bother or attepmt to change dont you (pardon me if you're changing)? if you cant even set your heart to change things like this, then how can i expect that you will change how you're treating me now?
do i really seem like i want too much out of you and this relationship?
i just want some care and a little more love from my bf. i just want to feel appreciated and that i belong.
half the time you make me want to scream. but the other half? the other half of the time you're kind of nice to be around. it's comfortable. comforting. how can you make me want to scream and make me feel like i've been wrapped in a big warm blanket? all at the same time.
in the long history of mankind, there was no rain that did not stop. the rain falling in my heart... i wonder if it will ever stop.
i've cried and cried. i've rant and rant. i wonder if sticking through with you by your side is the right thing to do if one day you would love me as much as i love you.
i've rant so much. sorry if there is any offending stuffs that ive mentioned or any stuffs that make you feel accused. for all i am sharing is what im feeling. i know im not someone loveable, in fact im someone who's difficult to be around with but just to let you know, you always have a choice.
& i do love you.